Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
