She said her name was "party"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
