i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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