Ambien. No doubt about it.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm always down for nudity.
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