im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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