Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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