You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
