so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize