I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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