Tell her she can't have a vagina
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
