that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
