you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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