Christians are straight up FREAKS
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
