Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
