Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
