he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I am one with the molecules
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize