I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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