I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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