He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
