I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
