Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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