Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
