I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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