you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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