I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
