Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
