There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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