you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
