we're blogging at a bar
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I stole a fireplace last night.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
