he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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