I wish I only lived at night.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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