I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize