Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
