Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
