She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
