i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
