Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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