Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize