I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
