Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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