i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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