Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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