We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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