yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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