Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
