what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize