why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
