You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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