I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
