You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
