Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think people are normalizing furries
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
