He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
