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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
