i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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