tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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