we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
